process and mental space
As a manager, I am socially functioning OK, I should be. Still, at the same time I know that I tend to avoid company’s activities, avoid alumni activities, i.e avoid mingling with people with different ideologies. For me those activities only bring very surreal/ shallow experiences. Since deep human interactions are what I really looking for, available opportunities only bring more troubles than joys.
Studies suggested that for anyone we meet, we quickly assume 2 things: 1) Can I trust this one, 2) can I respect this one? Yes, without mutual trust and respect, real interaction simply does not exist.
So, then what I am gonna do with my low social interactions? What if I lower my expectation about real interactions? What if I lower my conditions about mutual trust/respect? Very likely I will be bored/ hurted. That is, while my taste for ordinary food is very simple, my taste for mental food is kind of delicate and complicated.
So far, the delicacy had very much contributed to the establishments of my distinguished mental avoidances and mental attachments, both of which go against a mindful living. As much as I am longing for improving my mindfulness, I could almost not do anything about my tendency to avoid people, may be the hidden motivation here is to protect my mental taste.
Then I encounterd an article: http://marhoo.live/2016/06/16/give-yourself-the-acknowledgement-you-deserve/. It made me think. It brought to my perspective that may be so far whoever I’ve met, I immediately established an impressions, an attitude, some emotions and then those stuffs automatically took over, i.e avoidance, etc. For me people were autonomies with fixed personality (i.e labels: ignorance, arrogance, ambiguous, prideful, loopy, etc ...) and I rarely see people beyond those labels. The article brought me new opportunities, new perspective. It suggested that I can look at people as processes, that their apperances are maps of their experiences, what I am looking at is just a limited tool of a soul. Behind the personalities are actually products.
Somehow people are not autonomies as they thought, but each one of us is what the life did to us, what the lives lived onto us, a product of our own experience. People always think we are individuals with free-will, without recognizing we are processes at the same time. What processes? biological/ physical, or karmic processes, like a rain, like a tree, like a wind, like every other “entity” in this universe.
With that in mind, as I start to look at the people in new perspective, I find more space in my mind. With more mental space, it’s easier to look at people in the eyes, even ones I avoided before ! It feels like people are no longer only fixed labels, they becomes processes, processes without ends, and there’s so much space for many probabilities in those processes. One may rides a fairly enjoyable process, while another is experiencing miserable processing, but somehow as processes, they’re more or less the same. As people’s figures gain more flexibility, my perceived reality accomodates more fluidity.
To an observer, everything is a process, a becoming with no end. There’s no end therefore there’s so much space. With mindfulness, there come mental space.
Studies suggested that for anyone we meet, we quickly assume 2 things: 1) Can I trust this one, 2) can I respect this one? Yes, without mutual trust and respect, real interaction simply does not exist.
So, then what I am gonna do with my low social interactions? What if I lower my expectation about real interactions? What if I lower my conditions about mutual trust/respect? Very likely I will be bored/ hurted. That is, while my taste for ordinary food is very simple, my taste for mental food is kind of delicate and complicated.
So far, the delicacy had very much contributed to the establishments of my distinguished mental avoidances and mental attachments, both of which go against a mindful living. As much as I am longing for improving my mindfulness, I could almost not do anything about my tendency to avoid people, may be the hidden motivation here is to protect my mental taste.
Then I encounterd an article: http://marhoo.live/2016/06/16/give-yourself-the-acknowledgement-you-deserve/. It made me think. It brought to my perspective that may be so far whoever I’ve met, I immediately established an impressions, an attitude, some emotions and then those stuffs automatically took over, i.e avoidance, etc. For me people were autonomies with fixed personality (i.e labels: ignorance, arrogance, ambiguous, prideful, loopy, etc ...) and I rarely see people beyond those labels. The article brought me new opportunities, new perspective. It suggested that I can look at people as processes, that their apperances are maps of their experiences, what I am looking at is just a limited tool of a soul. Behind the personalities are actually products.
Somehow people are not autonomies as they thought, but each one of us is what the life did to us, what the lives lived onto us, a product of our own experience. People always think we are individuals with free-will, without recognizing we are processes at the same time. What processes? biological/ physical, or karmic processes, like a rain, like a tree, like a wind, like every other “entity” in this universe.
With that in mind, as I start to look at the people in new perspective, I find more space in my mind. With more mental space, it’s easier to look at people in the eyes, even ones I avoided before ! It feels like people are no longer only fixed labels, they becomes processes, processes without ends, and there’s so much space for many probabilities in those processes. One may rides a fairly enjoyable process, while another is experiencing miserable processing, but somehow as processes, they’re more or less the same. As people’s figures gain more flexibility, my perceived reality accomodates more fluidity.
To an observer, everything is a process, a becoming with no end. There’s no end therefore there’s so much space. With mindfulness, there come mental space.
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